Real Ramblings.

What can I say, it's been over a year since I have even glanced at this, thinking it was lost to the internet expanses. Well, a LOT has changed in my life, not that those of you who read this blog would have any notion or sense as to what has happened previously seeing as how, well, there are no other real blog posts, but for those of you that know me personally and care to find out about me you will be glad to find... hopefully... that I am alive and well. Still struggling to keep the grades and my major... but a little more settled and relaxed with life. I want to use this medium to just express my inner ramblings, my sets of thoughts and expressive ideas that don't have a home. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and since when I grow up is very near to this moment in time it's become a rather alarming issue. The closest I can ground myself is that I want 2 things most of all (career-wise). I want to be very smart, and I want to be very creative. I feel the marks of geniuses are those that can contribute to humanity without sounding pretentious. By being smart I mean I wish to work in a field that requires considerable amounts of intelligences (which is a word ironically enough I struggled to spell), such as a doctor, or NASA technician. However, since this job would be largely boring and probably mundane after a few years, I want to have a hobby most likely involving writing. I want to write, and hopefully direct videogames. Games that pop into the madness of the universe and tell stories of heroism and excitement. I figure the experiences in some scientific field will help me get the perfect abilities required of writing such intricate plot lines. However, from this I have also aroused two major issues: Getting into such an advanced field could keep me there, stuck forever working for dollars in a respectable job; and the second more obvious issue, getting there in the first place. I've come to face the facts. I'm no longer at that stage in life where procrastinating and relying on my own knowledge gets me far. For simple GE's, it works, but for classes that I care about and are challenging, it's impossible to keep up with these habits. I need to become more focused. I need to become more consistent with that focus. I started this quarter off well and I can already feel the laziness settling in. I am better than that though, I know I can be. I need to continue keeping up with my work even if it means cutting out distractions. This doesn't mean I need to cut out distractions completely, it just means that I need to balance them better. Just because I go to class and take notes and pay attention certainly does not mean I am ready for midterms. I need to consider the examples in class and picture them in my head. I need to understand how things work, and not rely on cramming the night before.

Huh. That's a lot of mental jargon if you ask me. Those were a lot of statements that were complete non sequiturs.

Anyway, to begin my path into both areas of life, the creative and scientific, I have started to do creative writing and music as outposts. I started the piano (by start I mean, learned 2 scales on Sunday) and still play guitar. I want to revisit the cello as well. But when it comes to writing, I have hundreds of things written out. Stuff that is not so great and doesn't deserve the light of day, and stuff that needs to be expanded upon. Stories that I need to tell. Well, I will get to this later, 7 o'clock work tomorrow, and class till 3. Night world!